December 10, 2007

  • Thank you

    Thank you, sincerely, to everyone who is praying for us about our miscarriage and have written such sweet comments, messages, and e-mails. 

    I am having the strangest mixed feelings about having more babies...I love children--I was discouraged for years, thinking that my oldest would be an only child--and I feel so blessed with our boys.  I love everything about pregnancy, *most* of the delivery, infancy, toddlerhood, early childhood, (I could go on, but I honestly have to stop before "preteen", LOL!!!).  But, I don't think I could go through another miscarriage like this, ever again.  I truly feel traumatized by it.  I had miscarried previously (at 4-5 weeks)--and two weeks later, got pregnant with Pilot.  It was somewhat easy to not dwell on the miscarriage, because I was pregnant again and ecstatic!  Also, my body did what it needed to do and it was so much like a period (sorry if TMI), that it was almost an abstract experience.  Not this time...  So part of me wants to get pregnant again right away, but another part is afraid, because what if I miscarry and have to go through all of that again?  I must admit, it could have been so much worse--I only sampled what some of the women in my family have experienced...

    These are some of my recent thoughts~I am trying not to dwell on it, but thoughts come up now and then.

     

Comments (8)

  • I am so sorry you ever had to experience anything bad! I understand (had one like that myself before Silly). And I'd cry with you if you were near!!

  • It's such an emotional rollercoaster, isn't it? I'm sure grief in miscarriage is part of the curse of the Fall... part of the pain in childbearing.

    I've had 3 miscarriages myself. The first one was the hardest. I grieved pretty heavily for two months... my oldest was 18 months, and after several years of infertility before she came along, miscarriage wasn't even on my radar screen. After the second miscarriage, we conceived again right away, so for the same reason you mention, I never really grieved much. The third one came a year ago in October... we weren't intending to conceive, so I had such mixed emotions anyway, then lost the baby at 12 weeks. We have four kids now, and I'm starting to wonder if maybe that's all we'll get! (which is such a miracle to me to have had 7 pregnancies after being told we likely wouldn't be able to conceive on our own!)

    After my first miscarriage, a friend asked me, "Is this your first one?" I was kind of surprised at the question and answered that I wasn't sure I could deal with more than one! She told me she had had six miscarriages in her child-bearing years. I had never heard of such a thing, although in the meantime I've discovered it's not so very uncommon. God's grace is sufficient! :celebrate:

  • My sister got pregnant with one of my nephews following a miscarriage. She took it really hard, and still gets frustrated thinking about it. She had bueen bleeding but her doctor told her everything was fine and to go home and put her feet up, so she still had hope. It turned out she was miscarrying and had to have  d&c. It was so hard on her, and I just hate it for you that you've had to go through this! At some point, I believe that God will work out your feelings. I don't think that means they'll go away, but you'll be able to better function "around it" if that makes any sense at all.:wink-wink:

  • ((((hugs)))))  I'll call you later.

  • I don't think you're dwelling on it. I think you're just trying to process your thoughts and feelings about it and I think that's perfectly normal. It's OK to feel bad about your loss. I've had a few misscariages too. It's hard. Everyone deals with grief in their own way. Just be kind to yourself and give it some time. (((hugs))) to you.

  • Hmmm.  Not sure what to say to this one.  I have infertility issues and have dealt with it for about 6 years now.  I can't really relate to what you are going through from the point of loosing a child, but I know the hole it leaves in your heart to want a child and not have one.  I think there comes a time when you just have to say to yourself "Whatever happens will happen and I am ok with that." in order to help move forward.

  • I've been through this a couple of time myself.  It is not easy, allow yourself time to grieve.  I will pray for you.

  • I can not express empathy because well, I'm a guy and have nor will I ever have any concept of the level of grief that you have and are expriencing over the death of your child. I can only say that God hears your cries of anguish (Ex 14:15).

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