I think I need to stop reading yahoo groups...I haven't had any conflicts personally (okay--there was one incident two years ago~with people on a yahoo group who I know IRL)--it's just a downer to go to a yahoo group for inspiration and ideas, only to find petty bickering and martyrdom.
First, I rarely post on them. I guess I'm a lurker. Yahoo groups like freecycle and flylady--they're easy to skim through and I can glean all the information or ideas from them fairly quickly.
But, there are other groups I've joined, in hopes of exploring or learning new concepts--these are the groups that, for all their good intentions, seem full of turmoil and conflict. Just as one blow-up has finally settled, another begins! One attempts to post a constructive criticism and it translates as judgment. Others react, take offense, and are dramatically defensive. The tones and nuances of a person-to-person conversation simply cannot be replicated by cold, black words on a computer screen.
I get it--many people are conditioned to fight--and they are looking for an excuse to unleash on someone. In one group, a member actually said, "I've been waiting for the opportunity to release this (pent-up vent) into the blogosphere" and then she went on to tell other women that Americans think that we are the only ones that God blesses or cares about. ?? It had nothing to do with the yahoogroup's purpose--a bunch of wives and mothers, looking for homekeeping tips and recipes!! But she was COMPELLED to take her "opportunity" to be ugly.
Something else that freezes up my warm, fuzzy optimism are members who try to out-martyr and out-guilt each other (hey--add "out-budget" and we could create a "Housewife Survivor" show LOL!). One mom posted her menu for dinner that night--steak--and then, gave a "disclaimer" that she'd "budgeted" for it. Girlfriend...enjoy your steak! You don't have to apologize for it! LOL
What to do...I can skip and ignore posts--I usually do skip topics I'm not interested in. Or I can unsubscribe and look for other groups. But...I have a hunch that this is going on in most yahoogroups...
Comments (9)
I had a little rant about this very thing about a year ago, well mine was more real life than groups but the whole martyrdom thing really gets my goat! *lol* Enjoy your weekend.
It must be all yahoogroups. Most of my Ygroups are sewing and doll hobbies and they are just like what you described. I swear I thought you peeked in on my groups!!! I just scan the helpful fun stuff and ignore the rest of the posts!!
Hey Kat who is jassytexan? I thought that was Deb.. but it isn't so who the heck is it?
thanks
jena
I tried yahoo groups several years ago, but the people seemed "aloof" and ran me off! lol
My heart can't handle those groups. I remember about 10 years ago I joined some e-mail "Christian" discussion group that almost always devolved into some argument or attack about something. It was awful. The Internet is wonderful for a lot of things, but some aspects of "community" just can't be replicated on-line.
I love to blog because it's a great outlet for my stirring thoughts, a chance to be creative, a fun way to communicate with my husband (it helps solve the problem of "I had something I wanted to remember to tell you, but now I've forgotten what it was!") and friends, but I have to steer clear of sites where this judgment, criticism, bickering, etc. take place because it brings out my own dark competitiveness, criticism, pride, judgment, etc. And that's just not helpful for *anyone*, is it?
Anyway, hi! Have a great day!
Nicely timed post.
i like the local yahoo groups- i think when you meet a person irl- or know you may someday it helps keep the bickering down.
Hey there, ran across your site. I have tried one yahoo group and was very discouraged. I do love flylady and websites I can just get information off of.
You are so right. I think this was the conviction I needed to get off most of the yahoo groups I am on. I am SO enjoying your blog!!! I came here from MIH group to find your flylady idea and am so glad I did!!!
Blessings, Paula (http://heartyworks.blogspot.com)
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