February 23, 2007

February 22, 2007

  • I had to remember my other (older) blog password so that I could post a comment on Paula's blog(http://heartyworks.blogspot.com).

    I came across one of my old posts and I'd like to copy it here:

    Currently feeling grateful for...

    no longer being in the workforce, where many Christians have to suppress their convictions in order to be thought of as politically correct and therefore avoid being labeled judgmental.

    I have met and developed relationships with so many amazing women who homeschool their children. Homeschooling continues to be an enlightening experience. These mothers strive to put their spouses and children first, and as a beloved relative so simply stated to me once, "sow, sow, sow now, so that I will reap, reap, reap later".

    While there are numerous religions and beliefs amongst these mothers, there is mutual respect for each other's convictions and very little intolerance between them. Opinions, beliefs and convictions can be comfortably stated and differences lovingly debated.

    When I was in my late teens and early twenties and in college, we had great discussions in this manner in our dorm rooms and at the library. What happens after college that removes the kindness from our debates and differences?
     
    This is so appropo for me right now--I love to debate and I love sharing viewpoints and ideas, but I am not as forgiving and tolerant as I once was.  I am striving to be open to all points of view and to appreciate learning from other people--hey, that's the reason I chose the quote at the top of my page! 
     

  • Protected post today--if you're on the list, does it just show up, or do you have to go to "your subscriptions" and click on "protected posts"?

    :) Kat

  • Matthew 6: 1 - 6, 16 - 18
    1 "Beware of practicing your piety before men in order to be seen by them; for then you will have no reward from your Father who is in heaven.
    2 "Thus, when you give alms, sound no trumpet before you, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and in the streets, that they may be praised by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.
    3 But when you give alms, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing,
    4 so that your alms may be in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
    5 "And when you pray, you must not be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and at the street corners, that they may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.
    6 But when you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.
    16 "And when you fast, do not look dismal, like the hypocrites, for they disfigure their faces that their fasting may be seen by men. Truly, I say to you, they have received their reward.
    17 But when you fast, anoint your head and wash your face,
    18 that your fasting may not be seen by men but by your Father who is in secret; and your Father who sees in secret will reward you.

    Wow, I realized as I listened to this scripture tonight that it really coincided with a debate that was going on in one of the xanga blogs. 

    A list had been posted--a sort of "to-do" list of duties, or blessings, for a wife to submit to her husband.  Concluding from the comments I read, some churches believe that they are "ministering" to their female parishioners by either disseminating this list or verbalizing these "tenants" to them.  Are some of us wives so obtuse that we cannot figure out how to bless or treat our husbands unless a veteran wife (or not) gives us guidelines?

    Some of the directives on the list were common sense, but the overall tone of the list, in my opinion, was for wives to sit back and shut up (hehe, in a nutshell!), unless they had an opportunity to praise their husbands.  There are also strong overtones of dishonesty, from wife to husband, amongst the directives on the list.

    Before I post the list, I want to make the comparison that I realized tonight during Mass: If one serves her dh's dinner plate, or cleans out his sock drawer, should she not keep that little blessing between herself and her husband?  What is her purpose by blogging about it on xanga or calling her girlfriend to tell her all about it? 

    Hey, maybe I'm the only one who sees the connection with the above scripture. 

    Here's the list (do y'all remember the book, The Rules?!):

         A Wife's Checklist

    1. Refuse to miss a day of Bible Reading
      1. Do not read in front of your husband – keep it private so that you don’t appear more spiritual.
    2. Pray before reading your Bible, “Open my eyes, Lord.”
    3. Teach the Word to your children
    4. Make a commitment to prayer.
    5. Make a habit of prayer.
    6. Acknowledge any sin God reveals to you and confess it to the Lord.
    7. Pray for your husband.
    8. Pray for your children.
    9. Seek to know your God-given role as a wife and mother.
      1. Find books, sermons on CD or DVD and study and meditate on God’s Word and the teachings that apply to the most important things in your life:  being a wife and mother!
    10. Keep a song of praise in your heart at all times.
    11. Keep a prayer in your mind at all times.
      1. “Lord, be with me at work at this moment and let me be a testimony.”
      2. “Lord, give me the energy to joyfully do my job for just five more minutes.”
      3. “Lord, thank you for the home you have provided me.”
      4. “Lord, thank you for this hot running water.”
      5. “Lord, thank you for a husband and children. Help me to be the wife and mother You want me to be.”
      6. “Lord, bless my child and help her to grow to be a strong Christian.”
      7. “Lord, bless my husband wherever he is at this moment.”
      8. “Lord, I am so angry right now, I’m just going to tell you about it.”
      9. “Lord, I am so hurt right now, I’m just going to tell you about it.”
    12. Study and know your husband.
    13. Be a servant to your husband.
      1. Let me get that! (water, keys, coat, shoes, seconds at dinner, ketchup, dessert, the remote, a snack, a tool, etc.)
      2. Keep his clothes clean and put away so that they are easy to find.
      3. Keep his “area” neat (favorite chair, desk, his side of the bed, his toiletries)
    14. Follow his leadership at the slightest opportunity (where to eat out, how to handle a home situation, whether or not to go somewhere, whether or not to buy something, what to watch on TV, how to fix something, etc.)
    15. Readily accept his advice for any situation and acknowledge that it is good advice, and thank him for it.
    16. Don’t be contentious or resistant to him in your spirit.
    17. Don’t embarrass your husband (your speech, appearance, behavior, neglect of your family or home)
    18. Prepare for his arrival each day (make sure his first perception of the house is that it is clean—even if it’s only the entry way and the area where he sits to relax, have a smile on your face, freshen your hair, clothes, or make-up, have the children clean and occupied, and have a smile on your face.)
    19.  Never belittle him or make cutting remarks of any kind, even in jest.
    20. Speak a sincere word of praise or appreciation whenever possible:
      1. “I don’t understand how you can fix a car like that. I’m completely clueless.”
      2. “Thank you for fixing that. I’m so fortunate to have a husband who can do that.”
      3. “Absolutely you made the right decision.”
      4. “You are absolutely right.”
      5. “You couldn’t have handled that (work situation, etc.) better.
      6. “That was very smart.”
      7. “That was totally the right thing to do.”
    21. Meet his gaze showing your love and acceptance of him—do not avert your eyes to show your hurt or disapproval and to punish him.
    22. Respond readily to his physical affection.
      1. Do not be stiff when receiving a hug or a kiss.
      2. Do not resist sexual advances:  Pray instead. God will provide the grace.
    23. Offer a warm hug, a warm smile, and an unexpected kiss of approval and appreciation.
    24. Do not be financially independent. Let him control the finances.
      1. Even if you have always controlled and balanced the checkbook, start checking with him on budget amounts and spending decisions.  Immediately concede to his input of any kind.
      2. Look for every opportunity to praise his wise financial decisions.
      3. Do not spend his money foolishly—make sure he never has to worry about how his wife will spend his money.
      4. Check with him on any purchase that is not a necessity.
      5. Do not argue or resist his financial decisions, even if you know they are bad ones.  Pray instead.  (Your silence and support is actually more powerful of an influence—try it and you will see!)
      6. Remember that whatever decision your husband makes, it is God’s will for you.  Your resistance and interference will actually cause more problems.
    25. Do not take matters into your own hands. Defer to your husband’s decisions whenever possible.
    26. Do not be your husband’s conscience.
    27. Do not nag. Ever. It is never a life or death matter.
    28. Show loyalty to him at all times.
      1. Never seek counsel outside of him without his approval.
    29. Encourage and wholeheartedly support any idea or goal he shares with you.
    30. Listen with your eyes, your ears, and be aware of your body language.  It doesn’t matter how busy you are. He cannot talk forever. Stop and listen and show him he is important to you and that you support him.
    31. Share his excitement over anything.
    32. Laugh at his jokes
    33. Look at him with admiration when he is around his peers to inspire their respect. (It is your job from the Lord to reverence him and to make him look good at all times.)
    34. Always  seek to make him look successful.
    35. Spend the time and effort needed on your appearance because it shows you reverence your husband.
    36. Dress to please your husband.
    37. Dress modestly so he does not worry that you may be trying to attract other men.  (Who are you trying to impress with your cleavage? If it is him, keep it in the bedroom)
    38. Remember what your husband likes:
      1. Cook his favorite meals.
      2. Keep his favorite snacks handy.
      3. Keep his favorite beverages handy.
      4. Keep his remote handy and the batteries working.
      5. Wear clothing you know he likes on you.
      6. Wear your hair the way you know he likes.
      7. Wear a perfume you know he likes.
    39. Care for your clothes and his clothes.  Eliminate unused clothes.
    40. Create order in his environment (one step at a time is fine)
      1. Organize the bathroom cabinets
      2. Organize his socks and underwear and keep it that way.
      3. Make a permanent and tidy place for his pocket stuff (wallet, keys, change, receipts, screws, batteries, business cards).
      4. Keep track of his “stuff” however you can
    41. Keep the home free of clutter
    42. Train your children to be neat, clean and organized
    43. Keep a meek and quiet spirit
    44. Do not speak in anger
    45. Stop a backbiting tongue by silence (Proverbs 26:20)
    46. Ask your husband your spiritual questions.
    47. Expect nothing from him (put all your expectation for fulfillment on the Lord, especially in moments where you feel empty or alone)
    48. Do not have the “marriage is teamwork and you’re not pulling your share” attitude. YOU commit 100% to your husband, regardless of how you think he is performing (you will only answer to God in the end for the kind of wife you were to your husband).
    49. Learn to prioritize (quick prayers often clear up moments or days of confusion).
    50. Organize one drawer, shelf, or area a day until your home has a place for everything and everything in its place—then keep it there.
    51. Train the children so that they make him proud.
    52. Train the children to love him and respect him.
    53. Never say a bad word about your husband to your children.  Don’t even suggest in any way to them that he is not the “dad” he should be.
    54. Do not try to solve any of his problems without his consent.
    55. Overlook his faults.
    56. Overlook his little mistakes.
    57. Overlook his big mistakes.
    58. Forgive any offense that hurts you as quickly as you can (urgent prayer will take care of this—pray until you feel your anger subside and your pleasure in your husband return.  At first this may take a few days.  After a while, you will cut it to a few hours.  With continued practice, you will be able to forgive, with prayer and God’s help, within a few minutes to a few seconds)
    59. Remember DAILY back to the beginning of your relationship and all the things that attracted you to him.  Recall the smiles you had for him them and smile them all again.
    60. Stop for one minute and thank the Lord for your husband.
    61. Pray for God to bless your husband as the leader of your home and as the provider for your family.
    62. Smile.
    63. Laugh.
    64. Have joy.
    65. Be lighthearted and create a lighthearted mood in your home.
    66. Make him proud of his home, his wife, and his children.
    67. Make sure that he would be proud to invite his boss to dinner.
    68. Ask him for advice whenever you can, and always take it seriously—and tell him what good advice it is. 
    69. When he tells you about his work, tell him how good he is at his job, in his position, and praise his strengths at work (his leadership, his diligence, his honesty, his integrity).
    70. Try to make all your words positive.
    71. Never talk bad about his friends or coworkers.  Do not affirm when he talks bad about someone. You can nod sympathetically, but do not  verbally agree.
    72. Do not be negative.
    73. Keep your speech clean and pretty—becoming to a lovely wife with a sweet spirit.
    74. Do not correct him.  Especially in front of others. Let it go unless your life is on the line.
    75. Do not criticize him about anything.  Not even about a shirt, how his hair looks, how he spends his time, what he spent his money on, or…anything.
    76. Pray for God’s strength and grace whenever—WHENEVER—you feel tired, angry, or that you just can’t do it.  Even if it means praying 2,000 times a day.  All you have to say is one word, “HELP!”  He will.
    77. Pray for God to reveal to you the opportunity to do something on this list whenever possible.

     

February 21, 2007

  • I have been planning activities for the boys for the Lenten season and I decided to take them to IHOP tonight, to have Pancakes For Supper for Shrove Tuesday.

    pancakesfors_lg

    Well, I was pleasantly surprised that today, pancakes were free at IHOP!  Do you think this was planned to coincide with Shrove Tuesday? 

    LOL--I guess now that I have three hungry boys (I'm not counting my little boobie-bandito) my ears perk up when I hear the word, "Free" !! 

February 16, 2007

  • I think I need to stop reading yahoo groups...I haven't had any conflicts personally (okay--there was one incident two years ago~with people on a yahoo group who I know IRL)--it's just a downer to go to a yahoo group for inspiration and ideas, only to find petty bickering and martyrdom.
     
    First, I rarely post on them.  I guess I'm a lurker.  Yahoo groups like freecycle and flylady--they're easy to skim through and I can glean all the information or ideas from them fairly quickly. 
     
    But, there are other groups I've joined, in hopes of exploring or learning new concepts--these are the groups that, for all their good intentions, seem full of turmoil and conflict.  Just as one blow-up has finally settled, another begins!  One attempts to post a constructive criticism and it translates as judgment.  Others react, take offense, and are dramatically defensive.  The tones and nuances of a person-to-person conversation simply cannot be replicated by cold, black words on a computer screen.  
     
    I get it--many people are conditioned to fight--and they are looking for an excuse to unleash on someone.  In one group, a member actually said, "I've been waiting for the opportunity to release this (pent-up vent) into the blogosphere" and then she went on to tell other women that Americans think that we are the only ones that God blesses or cares about.  ??  It had nothing to do with the yahoogroup's purpose--a bunch of wives and mothers, looking for homekeeping tips and recipes!!  But she was COMPELLED to take her "opportunity" to be ugly. 
     
    Something else that freezes up my warm, fuzzy optimism are members who try to out-martyr and out-guilt each other (hey--add "out-budget" and we could create a "Housewife Survivor" show LOL!).  One mom posted her menu for dinner that night--steak--and then, gave a "disclaimer" that she'd "budgeted" for it.  Girlfriend...enjoy your steak!  You don't have to apologize for it!  LOL
     
    What to do...I can skip and ignore posts--I usually do skip topics I'm not interested in.  Or I can unsubscribe and look for other groups.  But...I have a hunch that this is going on in most yahoogroups...

February 15, 2007

February 14, 2007

  • brachs_conversation_hearts

    Happy Valentine's Day!

    In other news, I woke up with a sore throat and ache-y neck!   I am not happy!  My oldest did get to attend the Valentine party~thank you, Jana!

     

     

     

February 11, 2007

  • Protected post today--but let me know if you want to be added to the list!!  If I don't know you very well, let me read your blog for a bit first!

    :) Kat

     

February 10, 2007

  • flower1

    It's been a long day...I have a "tension" knot behind my heart, on my back.  I used to have this constantly when I worked "outside the home" and I spent a lot of time at the massage therapist.   In college, I would lay on the floor and place this cat figurine between my back and the floor--I don't know what the figurine was made of, but it did the trick!  All I knew was that I needed pressure on that knot and I had to come up with something!  Today, my remedy is to lay on a baseball, on my bed, LOL!  The massage therapist once told me to use a tennis ball, but that isn't enough pressure for me.  Anyways, I must be having stress, because I haven't had this knot in years.

    I am hoping to post party pics later--it might not be until the morning, though!  He was truly surprised!!  He was really confused, LOL--he first said, "But today isn't my birthday!" and, "I thought we were having my party on a Saturday" (?it's a Saturday, silly!).  It was a lot of work, but also a LOT of fun.

    I'll close with a quickie recipe, if it can even be called that.  If you like Starbucks iced coffees, add a 14 oz. can of sweetened condensed milk to 6-8 cups of strong coffee and serve over ice--YUM!  Thanks, Stacey, for sending me that recipe--it was delicious and a total hit with all the moms!!